meet you is my the most beautiful accident

so suffering! why this happen ?
it's like a dream, but a nightmare, that I will never can get out.
sometimes I feel lonely, I feel helpless, I don't know how can I get
out of it, how can I walk on, how can I feel happy, how can I feel I
am doing something, I don't know, I really don't know.
My heart is trapped in a cage and never get out. where is the end?
I can't see future.
I need help , but who can give me a help, only I can help myself, BUT
i DON'T know where I am? I am always struggling. I have been thought that
I can concentrate on research, study may be, but I really can't, I AM crazy,
I am stupid, may be I am go though something that i must go though.
OMG! Please help me!